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The Pansexual Panel: Group Sex and Polyamory

Jonathan Sotelo
The Pansexual Panel

Group sex, polyamory, and most importantly, taking care of yourself is the core message of the latest issue of The Pansexual Panel.

Let’s all collectively admit that people are giving polyamory a bad name by slapping it on every instance of group sex and calling it a day. Okay, now let’s take a step back and really dig into what the heck I’m talking about. Just the other day a question threw me for a loop; how do people even get into a situation were multiple people want to have sex with you?

It’s a fair question. And on my part, all the situations I’ve ended up in before just happened naturally. Not to say some didn’t have a few kinks (no pun intended) to work out. But to be perfectly honest it was more of a “right time, right place” kind of situation. Before delving into the topic, it should be noted that when polyamory is done right, when everyone is open and honest about their needs and wants, it works really well. It does require that you put out a lot more effort, but the payoff is almost always worth it.

And for the uninitiated: “Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved.”

Let’s assume for this round that you are in fact looking to get into a sexual encounter with multiple people at the same time. Well good for you! Most people feel weird about sex in general but here you are wanting to dive head first into sexual exploration. My first instinct is to over plan, so definitely do not do that. However, this doesn’t mean you should skip expectations and limits. That’s right: LIMITS! Just because it’s a more open group doesn’t mean you have to compromise something. Establish these rules before moving forward and people will know you are serious about your boundaries.

Safety should always stick at the top of the list, both mentally and physically. Are you sexually active? Then get tested every 6 months to a year, or better yet, every 3-6 months. As long as you are making yourself top priority, you can literally do anything you like. Oftentimes people will try to rain on your parade and limit what you do; don’t let them! That message is especially directed towards femmes and ladies: slut shaming isn’t cool, “dude,” and I’m here to tell you that everyone else is just JEALOUS. That’s right, full on Jelly!

But all in all, if you want more legitimate information about sex in general check out the book: The Guide to Getting It On by Paul-Joannides

This book changed my life when I first read it 8 years ago, and I sure hope it gets you started down a road of sexual positivity. Until next time, enjoy your sex and make sure you don’t compromise your comfort for some else’s pleasure.

Written by: Jonathan Sotelo

Cautious Clay at House Of Blues

Brittany Roache

Cautious Clay pushes musical boundaries and captivates listeners at House of Blues San Diego‘s own Voodoo Room.

When I first discovered Cautious Clay, I was instantly drawn to the unique richness in his voice. Each song I listened to seemed to get better by the minute. Later, I learned that Cautious Clay was no ordinary alternative R&B artist. Josh Karpeh is the man behind it all. He’s a singer, producer, and multi-instrumentalist who coined the name “Cautious Clay” after Muhammad Ali, aka Cassius Clay. The all-in-one musician remains unsigned and continues to defy boundaries in the name of music. Karpeh attended George Washington University to study jazz saxophone and has continued to use his classically trained background as a tool to push boundaries. By keeping a “minimalist” mindset when writing his songs, Cautious gets to explore the line between keeping his music simple and clean, while making it powerful and touching.

While many listeners are drawn to his beautiful harmonies and catchy beats, the stories he tells through his lyrics is what I believe puts him above the rest. Following the release of his first EP, Blood Type, Cautious was interviewed by Billboard Magazine, whom asked the musician what he hoped his listeners would gain from this EP. He responds, “I would like my listeners to be more intentional with their time and the people they hang out with. Make sure you’re surrounding yourself with people who are worth your time. I know that’s really heady and deep, but that’s what the lyrics are about.” Since then, Cautious Clay has appeared on tracks with notable artists like AlunaGeorge and Hudson Mohawke, and recently linked up with electronica star, Medasin, to produce his newest single “HONEST ENOUGH.”

After months of playing his songs on repeat, I felt it was only fitting to attend his concert in San Diego. The concert was hosted in the Voodoo Room at the House of Blues, and while the venue was smaller than I had anticipated, it made the experience even more intimate.

Opening with a fan favorite, “Elsewhere,” I could feel my heartrate increase with only the first few chords. Cautious expressed to Billboard magazine that this song was written about his struggles with student debt and the inability to escape tough situations, which is something that many listeners are able to relate to. I was originally drawn to this song because of the unique mixture of electronica and indie production combined with his soulful harmonies, but it is the honesty behind his lyrics that kept me hitting the repeat button.

While I was personally disappointed by the energy in the crowd, Cautious Clay maintained a steady stage presence that kept me on my toes. After pulling out a saxophone and flute for songs such as “Stolen Moments” and “Call Me,” I became only more captivated by his talent.

Following the performance of some of his most popular hits like “Blood Type” and “French Riviera,” Karpeh asked the audience to give a round of applause to his bandmates before they momentarily left the stage. As he pulls out his acoustic guitar, the crowd starts to settle down before Cautious performed an unreleased track off his upcoming EP. The song was slow, but far from boring. This ballad was deep and emotional, and will soon touch the hearts of listeners alike.

I am eager for the release of his upcoming EP, Table of Context, as well as his return to San Diego in the future. My hopes for his next tour is that the crowd is more respectful and attentive to his stage presence because my expectations unfortunately fell short this time around. While his performance was still honest and true, I believe that an audience within his age range would be more courteous to the passion he poured out on stage. All-in-all, there are many big things in store for Cautious Clay this year. Although he’s already killing it, I’d say that he is just getting started.

Review By: Brittany Roache
Photos by: Brittany Roache

Morgxn, Weathers, and DREAMERS at the Irenic

Samuel DeLeon

Nothing’s better than going to a concert at The Irenic, and enjoying some gnarly tunes from Morgxn, Weathers, and DREAMERS.

DREAMERS are an American rock trio consisting of band members Nick Wold, Jacob Wick, and Marc Nelson, and they just debuted their first headlining tour in San Diego at The Irenic with the Weathers and Morgxn by their side.

Morgxn, an alternative singer/songwriter from Nashville, Tennessee, kicked off the set. Morgxn ran onto stage full of energy and enthusiasm and had the crowd moving from the very moment he stepped on stage. Throughout his performance, Morgxn sang a number of songs from his debut album “Vital,” which was released this May. Some of the highlights he performed included, “Alone/Forever,” “Vital,” “Harpoon (how does it feel),” and “Bruised“. During his performance Morgxn shared some insight into some of the meanings behind his songs. At one point during his performance, he even took the time to describe our society norms of beauty, and express that since there’s no standard of what beauty should be, we’re all beautiful. While listening to Morgxn’s wide vocal range and witnessing the energy he brought with him on stage, you couldn’t help but want to jump around and dance with him. There was a time Morgxn even came off stage into the middle of the crowd and sang a song within arm’s reach of the audience.

The next performers to come onto stage was Weathers. Weathers are an American rock band from Los Angeles, California. The band consists of drummer Cole Carson, bassist Brennen Bates, guitarist Cameron Olsen, and vocalist Cameron Boyer. Giving off a rock persona, the Weathers brought on stage a fun filled performance full of upbeat lively songs that made you want to rock your head back and forth to the beat. While the Weathers were on stage, you couldn’t seem to get enough of them, as they played with high energy beats and guitar solos you just had to dance along to. The group played music from their most recent album “Kids in the Night,” released in June of this year. Additionally, they played some of their other hits such as, “1983,” “I’m Not Ok,” “Poser,” “Happy Pills“. Overall, Weathers made you want to get up, dance, and enjoy the good vibes of their music.

After two great performances by Morgxn and Weathers, the venue dimmed the lights and the stage became engulfed in fog. Suddenly, a huge sign in the back lit up, spelling out, “DREAMERS.” After an ominous monologue, DREAMERS finally appeared on stage. They started their set with a song called “SCREWS,” a single off their latest EP, “Fly.” You could tell that there was definitely a connection between the audience and the band with every song the DREAMERS played. The band looked very comfortable on stage and made sure that the audience was having a great time too. At one point, the audience even sang, “Happy Birthday,” to lead vocalist Nick Wold. With a wide variety of songs, DREAMERS never failed to make you feel something throughout their set. From playing a slow tempo-ed, relaxed song for all the couples in the audience, to getting the whole crowd to mosh in another song, they had something for just about everyone. Fortunately, the band went through across their whole discography, including their hilariously titled debut album, “This Album Does Not Exist.” After laying out an amazing performance, the band left the stage only to be called back by the audience chanting “Encore!” The band eventually led out the show with two more songs from their debut album before it all came to an end.

Signifying a great start to the beginning of their tour, it’s crazy to imagine where all these great artists will go in their careers.

Written by: Samuel DeLeon

Sdyle: Madison Santos

Izzy Paul

Today I was at the library and ran into the lovely Madison Santos. Madison is a Sociology major here at San Diego State, and she for sure dresses with spunk. We had a chat about some of her style inspirations, views on trends and how to dress with a difference by adding your own flavor. This interview has been edited for clarity and length.

Are there any people or profiles that give you inspiration?
I do, I follow a lot of photographers mostly, and then some models who I think have really good fashion sense. This is one one of my favorite profiles: shoptrendyandtipsy. I am actually making a top similar to this at the moment:
via shoptrendyandtipsy's Instagram

Do you often recreate your own clothes? 

Yes, and no. I am really skinny and a lot of clothes don’t fit me the right way. So I sometimes have to redo clothes to make them suit my body type. If I have extra fabric left over, I like to make little tube/tank tops or whatever.

One time I didn’t have any pants so I stole my boyfriend’s jeans, cut them, took them in at the sides, and made them into high waited shorts and they looked really cool.

What are some of your favorite places to shop in San Diego?

I guess there is nothing specific to San Diego, but I mostly shop at Brandy Melville, and when I can afford it, at Urban Outfitters. I also like a lot of boutique stores because I love clothes that people can’t find. I hate it when I buy something from Forever 21 and then see five people wearing the same thing. It’s nice having some individualism. I buy a lot of stuff when I go out of the country, too.

Do you have a favorite brand?

It definitely changes, but I am into things that are cottony, soft and cozy. I am starting to get more into ‘pretty girl grunge’ or ‘hipster girl grunge’ type stuff.

What’s one piece of clothing you have made the biggest splurge on?

There was this one time with my step dad when we were going to a funeral and he was trying to make things seem happier. My sister and mom had also gone away on holiday and I couldn’t go. So we went shopping at Nordstrom and I tried on a dress that he let me get. I get scared to wear it in college though, because I feel like everything we do is very sloppy and I don’t want to damage it. I haven’t had a chance to wear it a lot since I got it [in high school], but I’m sure I can still I can still rock it.

“I don’t really like wearing dresses and skirts… because I like to sit like a guy”

What’s your favorite staple?

I am definitely into skin tight leggings or sweat pants and then just a cozy tiny little tank top— that’s like my go to. I don’t really like wearing dresses and skirts… because I like to sit like a guy.

If you could swap wardrobes with anyone in the world, who would it be?

I can’t think of anyone in specific but definitely some boutique stores— and I would wear every single thing in the whole store.

Do you have anything that you want to share with everyone reading this?

I would say learning to dress to your body type is really important because your clothing is a way of expressing yourself. I take a lot of pride in the individualism that I put into my clothing and outfits. I also notice people who express themselves through clothing, so it’s a good way to connect with people. Everyone can look good; you don’t only need to look like skin and bones– like me– to look good. There are some things that I can’t pull off because I’m not curvy enough. Whatever you have, just flaunt it and be confident! It’s definitely a confidence booster to wear your clothes and feel good in them. You feel comfortable because you are finally being yourself.

I’m all for new trends, but I also like to make them my own. You should make it your individual thing—otherwise that’s just basic.

Check out Madison’s Instagram @ m.a.a.dycity