The Pansexual Panel: Group Sex and Polyamory

The Pansexual Panel

Group sex, polyamory, and most importantly, taking care of yourself is the core message of the latest issue of The Pansexual Panel.

Let’s all collectively admit that people are giving polyamory a bad name by slapping it on every instance of group sex and calling it a day. Okay, now let’s take a step back and really dig into what the heck I’m talking about. Just the other day a question threw me for a loop; how do people even get into a situation were multiple people want to have sex with you?

It’s a fair question. And on my part, all the situations I’ve ended up in before just happened naturally. Not to say some didn’t have a few kinks (no pun intended) to work out. But to be perfectly honest it was more of a “right time, right place” kind of situation. Before delving into the topic, it should be noted that when polyamory is done right, when everyone is open and honest about their needs and wants, it works really well. It does require that you put out a lot more effort, but the payoff is almost always worth it.

And for the uninitiated: “Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved.”

Let’s assume for this round that you are in fact looking to get into a sexual encounter with multiple people at the same time. Well good for you! Most people feel weird about sex in general but here you are wanting to dive head first into sexual exploration. My first instinct is to over plan, so definitely do not do that. However, this doesn’t mean you should skip expectations and limits. That’s right: LIMITS! Just because it’s a more open group doesn’t mean you have to compromise something. Establish these rules before moving forward and people will know you are serious about your boundaries.

Safety should always stick at the top of the list, both mentally and physically. Are you sexually active? Then get tested every 6 months to a year, or better yet, every 3-6 months. As long as you are making yourself top priority, you can literally do anything you like. Oftentimes people will try to rain on your parade and limit what you do; don’t let them! That message is especially directed towards femmes and ladies: slut shaming isn’t cool, “dude,” and I’m here to tell you that everyone else is just JEALOUS. That’s right, full on Jelly!

But all in all, if you want more legitimate information about sex in general check out the book: The Guide to Getting It On by Paul-Joannides

This book changed my life when I first read it 8 years ago, and I sure hope it gets you started down a road of sexual positivity. Until next time, enjoy your sex and make sure you don’t compromise your comfort for some else’s pleasure.

Written by: Jonathan Sotelo

Baseball Preview: Aztecs baseball hosts Texas Tech

aztecs baseball high five

After a rain-shortened weekend in Fort Collins, the San Diego State Aztecs Baseball team is returning home to take on a couple of tough opponents.

Despite losing 9-5 last weekend to the Air Force Falcons on March 1st, San Diego State’s Aztecs Baseball senior shortstop Angelo Armenta went 3-for-4 with two RBIs. On the pitching side, Logan Boyer got the start and had a rough outing. In three innings, he gave up five runs (all earned), two walks and had four strikeouts.

As of Tuesday morning, the Aztecs baseball team are at the bottom of the Mountain West Conference with an overall record of 0-1. It’s still early in the season but SDSU will have to fix their rough start.

First up this week is the nationally-ranked Texas Tech Red Raiders who played in last year’s College World Series.

This 14th ranked team will come to San Diego Tuesday at 6 p.m. and Wednesday at 1 p.m. The Aztecs last beat Texas Tech in 2015, with a 9-0 shutout victory. Besides that, the Aztecs are 1-13.

Freshman Aaron Eden will start Tuesday night against Texas Tech’s the Red Raiders. Eden has an 1-0 record. His last start came on Feb. 26 when he went 6.1 innings, only giving up two hits, two walks and 12 groundouts to the cross town rival, the University of San Diego.

Wednesday’s game is SDSU faculty and staff appreciation day as well as free SDSU sunglasses to the first 250 fans in attendance.

Over the weekend, the Aztecs will face their second Mountain West opponent of the season against the University of Nevada.

The games on Friday and Saturday are scheduled to begin at 6 p.m. and 11 p.m. respectively. For Saturday’s game, the first 300 fans in attendance will receive a free SDSU Baseball t-shirt. Nevada is a big opponent for the Aztecs because the Wolfpack won the regular season title last year.

The defending Mountain West Tournament Aztecs (0-1 MW) are hoping to get their sixth MW title in seven years led by head coach Mark Martinez.

Written by: Breven Honda

The Pansexual Panel: Why only with straight men?

The Pansexual Panel

Think about you. Why are you only having sex with straight men? Are you really being who you want to be? Or are you hiding in plain sight?

Just the other day someone asked “who are you (what gender, what sex)?” and vaguely gestured to my bright pastel clothing. A gesture that could only be interpreted as pure confusion over my sexuality and attached to it my gender identity. Everyone wants to place you in a box because they feel uncomfortable that they can’t judge you with a quick glance. This discomfort spreads even more when they aren’t sure if they should use HE SHE OR THEY assuming THEY ever comes across their mind. Sure dealing with straight culture can dampen your otherwise queer day, but that’s not the point. What drew me to this tiny corner of the internet today was a discussion among my Femme friends about sexual pleasure. More specifically:

Are you having an orgasm every single time you have sex?

Too broad? Let’s narrow that down:

Are women having orgasms when they have sex with men?

Please note the word “men” is being using lightly and for obvious reasons is not capitalized. More on that later I promise. The story begins with our close friend, who we will call Katie for the sake of her privacy and her innocent questions. Our friend group was not prepared for the bomb shell she dropped on us just a few days ago. Seemingly out of nowhere she asked:

Do you guys have an orgasm every single time you have sex?

Among the many answers came a single question:

Are you only having sex with straight men?

She nodded yes and a loud sigh came from every queer member of this impromptu panel that was formed around this single question. She continued to explain that her sexual relationship consisted of vigorous sex for just a few minutes during which she never quite got there. Plain and simple she wasn’t enjoying her sexual relationship with her boyfriend. Or rather her own pleasure was not being put up for discussion by her nor her boyfriend. Naturally we suggested that be the first step but to our dismay we discovered that he told her “It just takes too long”.

Let’s unpack that; a young girl mid-twenties who can count her sexual partners on her hand has now been told her want for pleasure is inconvenient.

F*** THAT.

Orgasms are important!

Obviously the first step should be an open discussion about pleasure both shared and individual but if someone isn’t willing to do that for you then you should consider why you are keeping them around. Is this a critique of straight men? Not at all, but consider that the most unsatisfied women we’ve ever encountered are always having sex with straight men. See, our set societal norms are cock blocking us. Seriously, the patriarchy has become so prominent and normalized that some women are questioning if they should be enjoying sex at all. The answer is:

YES!

Of course you should be enjoying sex, we should be redefining sex to include a huge variety of things. Penetration isn’t the only form of sex and I’m here to tell you that you need to stop letting people shame you. Upset some fucking people, talk back, question their motives be loud and be seen.

What is the first step? Start here if you like. This won’t be a 100% percent correct and informational one stop shop for all things sex, gender, sexual identity but it will be a place you can be honest with yourself and each other if you are willing to enter into that conversation.

Who am I?

My names Jonathan Richard Sotelo, I’m Mexican Guatemalan American. I am Queer, Pansexual, and gender non-conforming. If you believe in the spectrum you could place me right in the middle.

Until next time, think about you.

Written by: Jonathan Richard Sotelo

Neighborhood Jams: KCR College Radio

This is it everyone – my last and final post for KCR College Radio. I am officially graduating from San Diego State University TODAY, but don’t you worry, I will be walking in the graduation ceremony in May. This post is completely dedicated to my true love because without this drive and passion, I wouldn’t know who I am today.  This one is for you, KCR.

I first joined KCR College Radio in August of 2015 and the next month I became the Music Submissions Director.  I still remember the day that I found out I was selected – it was more than just a director position. It was a major stepping stone into my future career in radio. In February of 2016 we went to New York City and accepted the award from Intercollegiate Broadcasting System for Best Station in the Nation. I personally represented the station as I received the award for Best Blog as well.  Together are two memories that I will hold dear forever. The twenty KCR representatives filled the room with Aztec cheer, and I couldn’t have been more proud to be an Aztec and a KCR director.

In the summer of 2016 I was able to personally represent KCR College Radio at the yearly Vans Warped Tour where I was able to be centimeters away from headlining bands and musicians.  It was a teenage dream that finally came true – all because of KCR. I might have been dehydrated, sunburned, and exhausted at the end of the day, but given the opportunity I would snatch it up again. Below are some of my personal photographs from Vans Warped Tour:

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State Champs

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We the Kings

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Mayday Parade

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Yellowcard

In the fall of 2016 I unexpectedly found out that I could graduate an entire semester earlier than planned, and my first thought was KCR. I didn’t want to leave the studio.  I didn’t want to leave the dream team (aka management). I was not ready to hang up my headphones. I was able to succeed this past semester because of the support system at KCR College Radio. I am the person I am today because of KCR College Radio. It is way more than a student-runned organization, it is home.

I want to give a huge thank you to General Manager, Matt Hoffman for believing in me and taking a chance on me.  I was always on my feet and ready to help out in anyway possible.  You constantly believed that I could do more, and you gave me confidence in pursuing my dream.  Another huge thank you to Social Media Director, Kelsey Donahue for being my first KCR friend and the best co-host ever.  Together we were able to discuss Blink-182 drama and Buzzfeed quizzes early in the morning – it was a pure dream come true.  Lastly a shout out to KCR Management for the great memories.  The endless meetings to better the best station in the nation; the constant talk of improving every aspect possible; I loved it, and I am going to miss it. Thank you, team, for believing in me and being a wonderful support system.

I love you, KCR College Radio. When I think back to my days at San Diego State University I will be instantly reminded of my time in the studio. I have high, HIGH hopes of working in radio in the near future, but I will always remember my first show here. Good luck out there, KCR, and I wish you the best at the IBS Awards next March. Go win some gold microphones, Aztecs!

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-Brianna Avalos