The Pansexual Panel: Group Sex and Polyamory

The Pansexual Panel

Group sex, polyamory, and most importantly, taking care of yourself is the core message of the latest issue of The Pansexual Panel.

Let’s all collectively admit that people are giving polyamory a bad name by slapping it on every instance of group sex and calling it a day. Okay, now let’s take a step back and really dig into what the heck I’m talking about. Just the other day a question threw me for a loop; how do people even get into a situation were multiple people want to have sex with you?

It’s a fair question. And on my part, all the situations I’ve ended up in before just happened naturally. Not to say some didn’t have a few kinks (no pun intended) to work out. But to be perfectly honest it was more of a “right time, right place” kind of situation. Before delving into the topic, it should be noted that when polyamory is done right, when everyone is open and honest about their needs and wants, it works really well. It does require that you put out a lot more effort, but the payoff is almost always worth it.

And for the uninitiated: “Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved.”

Let’s assume for this round that you are in fact looking to get into a sexual encounter with multiple people at the same time. Well good for you! Most people feel weird about sex in general but here you are wanting to dive head first into sexual exploration. My first instinct is to over plan, so definitely do not do that. However, this doesn’t mean you should skip expectations and limits. That’s right: LIMITS! Just because it’s a more open group doesn’t mean you have to compromise something. Establish these rules before moving forward and people will know you are serious about your boundaries.

Safety should always stick at the top of the list, both mentally and physically. Are you sexually active? Then get tested every 6 months to a year, or better yet, every 3-6 months. As long as you are making yourself top priority, you can literally do anything you like. Oftentimes people will try to rain on your parade and limit what you do; don’t let them! That message is especially directed towards femmes and ladies: slut shaming isn’t cool, “dude,” and I’m here to tell you that everyone else is just JEALOUS. That’s right, full on Jelly!

But all in all, if you want more legitimate information about sex in general check out the book: The Guide to Getting It On by Paul-Joannides

This book changed my life when I first read it 8 years ago, and I sure hope it gets you started down a road of sexual positivity. Until next time, enjoy your sex and make sure you don’t compromise your comfort for some else’s pleasure.

Written by: Jonathan Sotelo

Possum (2018) – Film Review

A Temporary Glimpse into the World of Possum (2018): An Absolutely Gripping Fever Dream of a Film.

All Bones, No Meat

I like my films how I like my sexual encounters; confusing, without context, and unsure of what’s going on for the majority of the time. A wise man (me) once said media is best experienced when you have the least amount of context going into them. No trailers, no spoilers, just a cool-sounding title and a summary of a few sentences to spice up your interest. So when it comes to the 2018 film Possum, directed by Matthew Holness, here it is:

A small talking man, aged by torment, has returned to his childhood home after serving in the military. After his service, he takes up puppeteering, but it doesn’t go too well. Maybe because his puppet is a giant disgusting, wound-ridden spider with a human head, glass eyes, and a hundred-yard stare. The house he returns to isn’t empty though; when he arrives he finds his filthy uncle Maurice has been living there for some time now. The plot revolves around dream-like montages of our dear puppeteer Philip returning to different places significant to his childhood as he attempts to figure out the secrets of his past and the house he now lives in.

There’s your summary. That’s ALL you get. Go watch it, it’s fantastic, I gave it 4/5 stars (that’s a high score from me). If you feel intrigued but don’t care about spoilers, or if you’ve already watched it, stay for a bit while I go into detail about this film, and probably end up digging deeper than necessary.

*TRIGGER WARNING: This film includes themes of abuse and sexual assault. If you are uncomfortable with these concepts or themes please don’t watch/read about this film. If you or someone you know is dealing with abuse trouble and need help, call this number:
National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline – 800.656.HOPE (4673)
Thank you and enjoy the rest of the review.*

 

!!! SPOILER WARNING !!!

All Meat, Boneless

Alright sweet, now that we’ve thinned the herd a little bit, let’s talk about this movie.

Possum (2018) follows what I would call “dream logic.” Numerous scenes of the film happen out of order or with fractures in between, with the camera taking a break from what’s really happening to Phillip and instead catching a shot of some yellow and orange balloons beginning to smoke up, black rain pouring from the sky, and seeing that dreadful Possum puppet everywhere he goes. Possum is filmed in such a way that it gradually reveals more and more of the horrifying Possum puppet to the audience, representing Philip’s reawakening demons as well as both the audience and Philip slowly beginning to realize that Uncle Maurice has more to do with his trauma than Philip thinks.

Some shots seem to be glimpses into Philip’s memory, showing places he’s been in before, just empty with no one else in them. The film doesn’t have many human characters in it, making it seem just as lonely as Phillip is. However, that isn’t to say that the film lacks character; Sean Harris (who plays Philip) delivers a haunting performance that keeps a tight grip of your attention through the entirety of Possum’s 85-minute run time. Speaking of acting, Harris’ movements throughout the film are very reminiscent of child-like mannerisms and insecurities. Looking over his shoulder while he runs away nervously, sweaty hands held together in front of him like a toddler would when anxious from potential danger, curling up into the fetal position and crying when feeling threatened and whining like an unwanting baby when confronted. These all contribute to the ever-present truth of poor Phillip’s corrupted innocence, which is fed to the audience generously throughout.

What Does It Mean?

On the topic of symbolism, this film is full, simply bursting with it. If you like shots of random things representing other aspects or themes found in the movie, you’re in luck because this film has TONS of that. Here’s a quick list of all the symbols that I could find on the first viewing:

  • The yellow and orange balloons floating inside a children’s room represent Phillip’s original childhood ignorance, while the black smoke enveloping them represents the death of his parents (from the fire that Uncle Maurice started in Phillip’s house) as well as the corruption or ‘blackening’ of childhood innocence.
  • The nursery rhyme, “Mother, Father, what’s afoot? Only Possum, black as soot” bridges the gap between the purity of his younger years and the hell he now endures every day, walking around trying to live while being haunted by his past, feeling the eyes of his abuser on him at all times.
  • The black rain pouring from the sky, tainting everything it touches with its necro-colored pollution, is a symbol of Phillip feeling that his whole world is being overcome by insanity.
  • The immortal fox which can be beaten until dead and rotten, but somehow always stands back up and walks away, is a symbol of the anguish he feels and his inability to get rid of it.
  • The surrounding area is full of forests with many dead trees and warped branches, symbolizing the spindly, disgusting spider legs of the Possum.
  • While on the topic of spider legs, those in themselves are a symbol for fingers. If you haven’t seen the last 10 minutes of the film, there’s a LOT of fingers involved.
  • And last but not least, the Possum. Phillip’s dead-eyed spider puppet symbolizes multiple things; his fractured or suffering mental state, his abusive uncle Maurice (who we later discover is the man who’s been abducting and molesting many children in the area, who also raped him when he was young), and Philip’s desire to release this trauma from his life. Wherever he goes, no matter how hard he tries to get rid of it, the Possum is always there. Creeping up close behind him, watching him from afar, waking up with it in his bed, menacing him with his long, hairy appendages. There is no escape, you can’t break it or burn it, you can’t leave it all behind, because pain and memories aren’t physical things. The only way to get rid of abuse is to do away with the abuser.

Speculation Abomination

When Uncle Maurice says, “Waking up is it? Wants to get out” he’s referring to Phillip’s growing suspicion that Maurice is actually the one that raped him.

The green candies Maurice offers to Phillip could potentially be drugs that knock him out and allow for Maurice to get up to his dirty deeds. They could also be just regular candies that Maurice used to coerce Phillip into doing gross things or letting Maurice abuse him more.

The nature of the name ‘Possum’ for the puppet could be significant in that it mirrors how Phillip acts. Possums (the animal) are known to be cowardly and play dead when frightened, which is something Phillip does when he’s put into an uncomfortable situation. When he throws the Possum off the bridge, he too acts like a possum, slams into the mud, and curls up in a ball while he experiences horrible flashbacks.

Final Thoughts

This movie is really good and it is worth your time. It makes you feel more uncomfortable and slimy than scared, but the single most terrifying scene of the whole movie is well deserved. I literally threw my laptop when Uncle Maurice jumped out of the shadows. Please support this film, I genuinely recommend it.

Written by: Fabrizio Ramirez

The Pansexual Panel: Why only with straight men?

The Pansexual Panel

Think about you. Why are you only having sex with straight men? Are you really being who you want to be? Or are you hiding in plain sight?

Just the other day someone asked “who are you (what gender, what sex)?” and vaguely gestured to my bright pastel clothing. A gesture that could only be interpreted as pure confusion over my sexuality and attached to it my gender identity. Everyone wants to place you in a box because they feel uncomfortable that they can’t judge you with a quick glance. This discomfort spreads even more when they aren’t sure if they should use HE SHE OR THEY assuming THEY ever comes across their mind. Sure dealing with straight culture can dampen your otherwise queer day, but that’s not the point. What drew me to this tiny corner of the internet today was a discussion among my Femme friends about sexual pleasure. More specifically:

Are you having an orgasm every single time you have sex?

Too broad? Let’s narrow that down:

Are women having orgasms when they have sex with men?

Please note the word “men” is being using lightly and for obvious reasons is not capitalized. More on that later I promise. The story begins with our close friend, who we will call Katie for the sake of her privacy and her innocent questions. Our friend group was not prepared for the bomb shell she dropped on us just a few days ago. Seemingly out of nowhere she asked:

Do you guys have an orgasm every single time you have sex?

Among the many answers came a single question:

Are you only having sex with straight men?

She nodded yes and a loud sigh came from every queer member of this impromptu panel that was formed around this single question. She continued to explain that her sexual relationship consisted of vigorous sex for just a few minutes during which she never quite got there. Plain and simple she wasn’t enjoying her sexual relationship with her boyfriend. Or rather her own pleasure was not being put up for discussion by her nor her boyfriend. Naturally we suggested that be the first step but to our dismay we discovered that he told her “It just takes too long”.

Let’s unpack that; a young girl mid-twenties who can count her sexual partners on her hand has now been told her want for pleasure is inconvenient.

F*** THAT.

Orgasms are important!

Obviously the first step should be an open discussion about pleasure both shared and individual but if someone isn’t willing to do that for you then you should consider why you are keeping them around. Is this a critique of straight men? Not at all, but consider that the most unsatisfied women we’ve ever encountered are always having sex with straight men. See, our set societal norms are cock blocking us. Seriously, the patriarchy has become so prominent and normalized that some women are questioning if they should be enjoying sex at all. The answer is:

YES!

Of course you should be enjoying sex, we should be redefining sex to include a huge variety of things. Penetration isn’t the only form of sex and I’m here to tell you that you need to stop letting people shame you. Upset some fucking people, talk back, question their motives be loud and be seen.

What is the first step? Start here if you like. This won’t be a 100% percent correct and informational one stop shop for all things sex, gender, sexual identity but it will be a place you can be honest with yourself and each other if you are willing to enter into that conversation.

Who am I?

My names Jonathan Richard Sotelo, I’m Mexican Guatemalan American. I am Queer, Pansexual, and gender non-conforming. If you believe in the spectrum you could place me right in the middle.

Until next time, think about you.

Written by: Jonathan Richard Sotelo

SDSU Prepares For Annual Tony Gwynn Classic

The annual Tony Gwynn Legacy, hosted by both the Aztecs and the University of San Diego, will take place this weekend, from February 22-24th.

The annual tournament honors San Diego legend Tony Gwynn (Photo: Ernie Anderson/GoAztecs)

A week after receiving their rings to honor last year’s Mountain West Tournament Championship, their fifth title in six years, the San Diego State Baseball team will get to honor their head coach that began that run, Tony Gwynn, who passed away in 2014.

13 games will be played in remembrance of Gwynn beginning Thursday at Fowler ParkThe Aztecs and Toreros will host Utah, Kansas State, Fresno State, Oklahoma, No. 25 Cal State Fullerton and Missouri State throughout the weekend. Utah, Oklahoma, Fullerton, and Missouri State, along with the Aztecs, participated in the NCAA Tournament last year.  The Scarlet and Black will play against Utah on Friday at 6pm, followed by Oklahoma Saturday night at 6 p.m and Kansas State at 2 p.m. on Sunday.

Gwynn came to SDSU in 1977 on a basketball scholarship and would become the Aztecs’ career assists leader, 590, a record that still stands today. Gwynn would first play baseball as an Aztec in 1979. On the diamond, he became an All-American outfielder, playing with future Major Leaguers like Bobby Meacham, Ed Amelung, Chris Jones and Al Newman. Gwynn would even play with future MLB umpire Kerwin Danley.

Gwynn was drafted on the same day by the Padres and Clippers, both San Diego franchises in 1981. He would choose baseball, and for 20 years he would wear a Padres uniform collecting 3,141 hits, a .338 lifetime batting average, 15 all-star appearances, seven Silver Slugger Awards, and five Gold Gloves en route to a 97.6 percent of the vote to be inducted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame.

After retiring as a player, he would come back to the Mesa and takeover for his college baseball coach, Jim Dietz and coach until his passing in June 2014.

Written by: Breven Honda