The Pansexual Panel focuses upon fashion, and alternative means of expressing oneself in this week’s segment.
Today became awkward when the gloom of the rain really seeped into my life and into my consciousness. For one reason or another I became acutely aware of my clothing and how much I hate it. After years of trying to find out what my own Pansexuality meant to me, this must be where I get off. More color! Time to embrace the love I’ve been harboring inside myself.
For years while growing up with my mother constantly doting upon me, she chose every piece of my clothing. The most masculine things she could find with randoms bits of color. What she didn’t realize was all the time spent shopping and offering opinions on women’s clothing and makeup was so incredibly enjoyable. She assumed I was straight and just went about her every day routine and I tagged along for all of it. When I became older and started living on my own, I kept with the utilitarian clothing, often convincing myself that I had chosen them because it made sense.
The truth is none of my clothes make sense anymore. They feel uncomfortable, loose; they’re not the colors that represent me anymore. My sexuality, my preferences, my desires all exist on this ever sliding scale that floats on a spectrum. Balance is key and I’m here to tell you that there isn’t a set standard for anything anymore. I want you to do what ever you damn well please.
Yes this is about being Gay, Queer, Pansexual, about pushing those boundaries. In my early twenties I worried constantly about what people would think of me. What they would thing of my queer lifestyle choices. What I eventually came to find was my happiness grew as my worry about others lessened. To put it bluntly:
Who cares what they think?
I can honestly say people are too wrapped up in their own minds to care if you are wearing bright pastels and combat boots. So go out and do it! The best advice I can offer is if it fits and you like it, then wear it. Sure you might want a certain aesthetic but how the hell do you think new fashions come about? By trying new bold choices and walking around with confidence. Your queer! So why not make every single place you walk a runway in your mind.
Maybe I’m an over dramatic queer, but it sure makes me feel better when I know my fashion, my outward appearance is something all my own, something unique and hardly replicated. So I hope you are feeling comfortable in your own skin, your own clothes. Because it’s the first step to loving who you are and if no one else has said it lately; I want you to know I love you very much.