reboot

Dumbo is an Unnecessary Disney Remake that has No Purpose for Existing.

So awhile ago, I went and watched the new version of Dumbo, and it was not good. The truth about Dumbo is that this is more of a product than anything else. Disney is a company that I’ve recently had less and less respect for, especially given the growing monopoly that they are beginning to have on the entertainment industry. They release movies to trick the audience into believing that they care about your childhood and the things you loved growing up, but they are actually cashing in on the nostalgia you have of these iconic films and franchises from your past. They’re forcing Pixar to constantly spam of sequels, and they’re pushing out Star Wars movies to the point where “Star Wars Fatigues” now reigns after the (arguably) disastrous releases of The Last Jedi and Solo: A Star Wars Story. Somehow, DC has been making better movies than Marvel, and most egregiously, they’re also spamming out live action remakes of classic 2D animated Disney films. I know I keep using the word “spamming” when describing the release of these films, but that’s what it feels like to me. In 2019 alone, we’re getting FOUR other live action remakes. FOUR! Tell me that’s not spamming. After this, we’re getting Aladdin, The Lion King, Maleficent 2, and Lady and the Tramp, which the latter will be exclusively for Disney+.

With all the complaining about Disney’s evil and conniving business methods out of the way, what makes this movie as flawed as it is?

It’s been probably more than ten years since I’ve seen the original film, but what I remember from it, it told the story of a little baby elephant at a circus who was bullied by his peers for having big ears, but learns to use them to his advantage as he discovers he can actually fly with these ears. He also tries to get his mother back after she goes crazy and puts another circus goer in danger. The remake tells a similar story but adds human characters to it and their struggle to keep a financial living in this little traveling circus they work for. Colin Farrell is the father of two children that he must take care of at the travelling circus but finds it difficult to do so after he discovers upon coming back from war that his wife has past away. Also,Danny Devito is the owner of the circus that agrees to make a partnership with a powerful entrepreneur, played by Michael Keaton.

So if I knew this Movie was Gonna be so Bad, why did I see it?

The reason I went and saw this movie was because I knew it would be directed by Tim Burton. Tim Burton is one of my favorite directors, and he’s the man who personally inspired me to make movies. He has so many classic and wonderful films, and I have nothing but respect for the creativity and imagination he has running through his crazy little brain. Although I acknowledge that his film Alice in Wonderland was the reason this whole trend of live action remakes started, at least that movie had a creative and unique voice to it. I had hoped that even if this movie wasn’t good, it would at least be a special and weird experience brought to you by the great Tim Burton.

And I have to say, this is not the worst of the Disney live action remakes. This film does has a voice of some kind. The choice to cast Eva Green, Danny Devito, and Michael Keaton who are all previous collaborators with Burton (see Miss Peregrine’s and Batman Returns), as well as the general aesthetic this movie presents throughout its production design (that isn’t a green screen) gives this movie a certain vibe that only Burton is capable of. The cinematography was neat, although the color palate was sometimes foggy, but not terribly distracting, and there was admittedly a very fun sense of adventure throughout this movie. And even though I knew exactly where this movie was gonna go, I wanted to see that adventure still play out.

Despite admiring Burton’s aesthetic, there are unfortunately some serious issues within the film making here.

When Dumbo isn’t allowing you to enjoy the magic and wonder that comes with seeing an elephant fly at a circus, it gives you a very awkward and otherwise poorly made film with no real personality within its script. If Tim Burton hadn’t directed this script, this would have easily could have been one of the soulless movies I had ever seen. The visual effects are terrible and look very fake given the standards of today’s movies. The acting from the kids is so bad it would take me out of the movie entirely, and the script is stupid, boring, and has no pay off or important themes to spread.

Oftentimes, characters will touch or look at Dumbo and they’ll be totally off from where he actually is. They’ll brush his little body and be missing him by about a few inches. The young girl in this movie also has a scene where she looks at Dumbo and she is not even staring at Dumbo directly, but instead off in the distance somewhere. Did they not use markers or anything to guide the actors and help them to give a better performance. Speaking of which, the girl in this movie is absolutely horrible. I feel bad because she is a little kid and I know it’s hard to act, but she just was unable to attempt to display any emotions whatsoever. She would literally stare at Dumbo flying through the circus tent with a straight face. I could tell she’s supposed to act amazed or something when this happens, because the little boy who’s even younger than her acting with her is much better than she is. It doesn’t help either that her character is just “female STEM major” and that’s it. Not saying there’s anything wrong with females entering the major; in fact I encourage it. It’s just that they make her trait of being a female scientist her only personality trait. It’s a problem that even feminists are having an issue with in current films that feature young girls. It’s a poor representation of a group of people who inspire others and make a difference in other people’s lives.

Overall, Dumbo was thankfully not a complete waste of time due to Burton’s good direction and production design, but is otherwise a film you should have no problem skipping.

It was a boring movie with bad effects, bad acting, and a bad script. I recommend you skip this movie and see Us, Shazam!, or even Pet Semetary instead. These are all films that are much better and made by people who care, at least a little bit, of the films they are putting out there. And you can’t even shift the blame onto Burton. The issues come from the studio for making this the way they did. I know I seem angry talking about this movie, but I think it’s more because I know it’s behind a company that only cares about spamming out products as quickly as possible and generating online buzz and coverage about their movies in the process. The movie alone really just made me want to fall asleep, which is never a good thing to experience with a movie. If you’re also sick of Disney making these pointless remakes that are only designed to be second place to the original anyways, then speak with your wallets and skip this one. I used my AMC A-List for this one, so hopefully theirs not as much blood on my hands.

Written by: Christian Scognamillo